Overcoming shyness [social anxiety]

Shyness can mean feeling uncomfortable, nervous, timid, or insecure. People who feel shy sometimes notice physical sensations like blushing or feeling speechless and shaky.

When people feel shy, they might hesitate to say or do something because they're feeling unsure of themselves and they're not ready to be noticed.

New and unfamiliar situations can bring out shy feelings like meeting someone new or speaking in front of a group for the first time. People are more likely to feel shy when they're not sure of how to act, don't know how others will react, or when attention is on them.

Like other emotions, shy feelings can be mild, medium, or intense, depending on the situation and the person. Shy people may need more time to get used to change. They might prefer to stick with what's familiar.

Shy people often hesitate before trying something new. They often prefer watching others before joining in on a group activity. They usually take longer to warm up to new people and situations.

Sometimes being quiet and introverted is a sign that someone has a naturally shy personality. But that's not always the case. Being quiet is not always the same as being shy.

Shyness can actually be managed, controlled, and conquered.

Below are some things one can do in order to be free from shyness:

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Accept your shyness

 

One of the first steps to overcome your shyness is to try to accept your shyness and be comfortable with it. The more you will resist it unconsciously or consciously, the longer it will prevail. If you are shy then accept it and embrace it totally. One way it could be done is by saying to yourself repeatedly 'Yes I am shy and I accept it'.

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Be mindful

 

Mindfulness has been simply defined as awareness. Wake up. Be present to all of your thoughts, feelings, sensations, and memories in any given moment. There is no part of your experience that you have to run from, escape, or avoid. Learn to appreciate yourself and the world around you, including those “panicky” thoughts and feelings, and just notice them without judgment.

When you are fully present in the moment, you will realize that social interactions are not something you need to avoid. You will perform better because you are actually paying attention to the conversation and the cues in your environment. With practice, you can continually incorporate and improve upon the social skills that you learn from the world around you, ultimately making you feel more confident.

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Act confidently

 

Confidence comes through action, learning, practice, and mastery. Remember when you learned how to ride a bike? It was terrifying at first, but after you just went for it and tried it, you got it and felt confident. Social confidence works the same way.

Feeling anxious is not the problem; avoiding social interactions is the problem. Eliminate avoidance and you will overcome your anxiety.

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Talk 

 

Start practicing giving speeches or presentations and telling jokes or stories at every opportunity. Be more talkative and expressive in all areas of your life. Whether you’re at work, with friends, with strangers, or walking down the street, you can practice talking more openly. Let your voice and your ideas be heard.

Confident people are not preoccupied with whether everyone is going to like what they have to say. They speak their mind because they want to share, engage, and connect with others. You can do this too. Anxiety and shyness are not reasons to stay quiet.

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Make yourself vulnerable

 

A fear of being judged contributes to social anxiety and shyness. The only way to overcome this fear is to make yourself vulnerable. Practice doing this with the people you are close to and can trust. You might realize the more you do it, the closer you feel to others and the more pleasure and meaning you get out of those relationships. This will lead to increased confidence in yourself and in social interactions.

Being vulnerable requires a willingness to let others see the real you. Be proud of who you are. Being genuine and vulnerable is often the quality that others will appreciate the most about you.

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Visualize success

 

Close your eyes and visualize a situation where you might be shy. Now, in your mind's eye, think about being confident. Do this often, and for different situations. This is most effective if you do this daily, especially in the morning. It might feel silly, but athletes use visualization to develop their skills, so why not you?

Involve all your senses to make it feel the most real. Think about being happy and comfortable. What do you sound like? What are you doing? That way when the time comes, you'll be prepared.

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Practice speaking clearly to yourself

 

This will help avoid the potential embarrassment of needing to repeat what you said due to mumbling or talking too quietly. You got to get used to hearing your own voice! Loving it, even.

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Don't compare yourself to others

 

The more you compare yourself to others, the more you will feel that you are not able to measure up and the more intimidated you will feel, which will make you shyer. There is no use to compare yourself to anybody else, but if you do, do it realistically. Everyone else is overwrought with self-assurance problems too.