The hurts of heartbreak

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Heartbreak is an unfortunately common part of the human experience, and it really, really hurts. 99% of people have all been there, and it’s safe to say we all want to avoid experiencing heartbreak ever again.

We feel heartbroken when we lose someone or something we love or want very much, like a romantic relationship or friendship, a family member, a pet, or a job or opportunity that is very important to us.

Heartbreak can cause a large amount of stress, especially if the loss is a sudden one. This stress can affect how we feel emotionally and physically and may take weeks, months, or even years to recover from.

While there’s still a lot to discover about how and why we experience love and heartbreak and the effect these have on our bodies, scientific study has provided us with some clues about why heartbreak makes you feel so rubbish, and some strategies to use if you’re feeling really down.  

Why heartbreak hurts so much

Studies show that your brain registers the emotional pain of heartbreak in the same way as physical pain, which is why you might feel like your heartbreak is causing actual physical hurt. The language we use to describe heartbreak – “I feel like my heart’s been ripped out”, “it was gut-wrenching”, and “like a slap in the face” – all hint at the way we associate physical pain with emotional pain.

Hormones associated with heartbreak

Hormones aren’t just for randy teenagers. Our bodies produce a long list of hormones every day for different purposes, including falling in and out of love.

Love can be very addictive, like a drug, because of the hormones our brain releases when we become really attached to someone or something. Dopamine and oxytocin in particular are hormones that make us feel good and want to repeat behaviors, and are released at elevated levels when we’re in love.

Then, when heartbreak happens, these hormone levels drop and are replaced with the stress hormone cortisol. Designed to support your body’s fight-or-flight response, too much cortisol over a while can contribute to anxiety, nausea, acne, and weight gain. All these are unpleasant mental and physical symptoms associated with heartbreak.

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